Prepare for a Graceful Transition... and Other Major Life Changes

We are living in interesting times. Everything is changing, including the ways we think about life and death. Furthermore, as baby boomers move into our middle years, we are having to face issues around transition that we are not always prepared for. We are recognizing that we want to do things very differently from the way we've seen them done in past generations. And we need guidance as we proceed down this road less travelled.

Shortly after the first edition of The Last Adventllre of Life was published, I was in a health food store on Whidbey Island where the book was being sold. A Buddhist gentleman who was also a volunteer firefighter happened to walk into the store, and we struck up a conversation. At one point in our animated exchange the man commented, "In Buddhism, birth is considered the hard part. Death is easy because we have the whole rest of our lives to prepare for it." I recall thinking to myself: Wow, that's an intriguing perspective on death. I wonder how many Americans look at our lives as a way, a spiritual practice, if you will, to prepare for our final "graduation" from life? In truth, every day of our lives provide us with wonderful opportunities to prepare for the last adventure of life.

The following are some ideas that come out of my mind-expanding experience of working with hospices on how we might help ourselves prepare for that glorious last adventure of life.

1. The TRUTH shall set you free. Once we are born into this world, we must face our death one day. Rather than fear, this a cause for rejoicing. When we die is "home going," or graduation time! May we face and talk openly about death with onc another, with courage.

2. Connect with the BEAUTY in all things. When is the last time you connected deeply with beauty? The beauty in nature, in a flower or a tree, or a colorful rainbow? A baby, perhaps? Or the uniqueness of a human being? Remember the beauty of your own soul and through the center of your heart, see if you can connect with the beauty in everything.

3. Deeply LOVE your unique self. I heard through the grapevine recently about a day that was considered an Unconditional Love Day: A day for everyone to acknowledge unconditional love for the self. What a world we would have if each person truly loved themselves! Imagine that for a moment. After all, love is the only real and enduring power on this blessed Earth. Give yourself the gift of deep love and appreciation today every day, with all your power and might.

4. Tune into JOY, the source of allUfe. I was reminded recently by a new friend that joy is the opposite of fear. Two ways to convert our fears into joy are: Being grateful and being creative. The next time you feel fear creeping in, write down some things that you are grateful for in the moment, or let yourself express your creative side in some way, and tune into the joy!

S. As you TRUST the process, you can feel yourself heal into wholeness. What helps you to trust the process? Or "let go and let God?" The more we can let go of resistance and trust how our lives are moving, the more we can flow with grace and ease. I encourage you to find new ways to trust and honour the process you are going through, no matter what that might be. You are an awesome soul to have chosen the particular path you find yourself on.

6. As you REFLECT upon your life, forgive and release the past. Probably one ofthe most important things we can do to prepare for our final transition is to let go of the extra baggage that we carry around, both physically, mentally, and emotionally. Ifwe could clear out all the extra clutter in our lives, this would make our leavetaking much easier. For that matter, how much more smoothly our lives would run if our clutter could be cleared out on a regular basis? In Japan, where I had the privilege of growing up, the very end of the year is a time for major house cleaning. Since New Years is considered a very sacred time, in preparation for a whole new year, people spend days cleaning and making things fresh, and also preparing for the first week of the New Year, when even housewives are not supposed to cook. So, a lot of food is prepared ahead of time that can be easily used for food during the first days of the New Year.

Not only physically, but perhaps even more importantly, it's imperative that we stay caught up with mental and emotional housecleaning in our lives. For example, who are the people you want or need to apologize to? To make amends to? To write letters of appreciation to? Or to just simply let them know how much you love them? What are some of the antiquated belief systems that are no longer serving you? How might you let go of those pieces of "mental garbage" that are no longer serving you?

7. MEDITATE and develop your awareness. Ken Witber, one of the great philosophers of our times, writes that those who meditate regularly for three or four years raise their consciousness several notches just through their practice. Meditation helps us breath more deeply; it also slows us down and allows us to pay more attention to what is going on around us. In these days of deep change and transformation, developing your Center of Being through cultivating meditation may be the most important thing you can do for your spirit.

8. Remember HOPE through the Magic of Life. One of the biggest lessons Ihave learned through my walk with the dying is the inter-connectedness of all things. We are connected one to another here on Earth; we are also connected deeply with the Other Side. Our "clouds of witnesses" on the Other Side love and guide us more than we will ever know. I encourage you to make a deeper connection to the Spirit Realm, however it works for you. See if you can come to not only believe, but know in your bones that there is a vast continuation of life, way beyond this Earthly Realm.

9. Develop your SPIRITUAL LIFE. A spiritual life cannot be developed overnight. And yet, those who suddenly find themselves in a hospice have asked me the question: "How can Ifind my answers to all of my spiritual questions now?" I can help point them in some directions, but it is rather late in the game of life to begin searching spiritually on one's deathbed. Iinvite you to follow the call of Spirit in your life today: Read that book you've been meaning to read, or visit that community of faith that you've been meaning to visit. Best of all, pray to God/Goddess! All That Is from the center of your heart and ask for personal guidance in all matters. Spirit needs permission to become active in your life. Ask, and you'll be surprised at the doors that begin to open!

0. Grieve freely. It's so important for us to give one another permission to grieve. When is that last time you had a good cry? When you know you need to cry, let yourself move with your feelings. For that matter, Iinvite you to become like a child again, and let all your feelings flow as they come up - in a healthy, constructive way. Tuning into your emotions will help you tune into the activity of Spirit in your life. Eventually, inevitably, you will tune in to PURE JOY!

1I.Explore all the HEALING RESOURCES available to you. We are so blessed with an abundant society, full of variety. There are a multitude of resources we can turn to when we are faced with challenges, or "learning opportunities" in our lives. Thanks to the exchange between East and West, besides the gifts of western medicine, we have the gifts of eastern medicine and some of the "ancient" complementary modalities of healing that are re-emerging. So many of these gifts are tools to help us relax and tune in to the magnificence of life all around us. As a hospice worker, Icame across numerous modalities of healing and relaxation that families were using to help themselves cope. Through my personal journey of healing Ihave also come across many tools for healing and relaxation. Iinvite you to look around in your own life and seek out anything that you know might help to heal you. Don't leave any stone unturned!

If you are interested in exploring any of the above further, Iinvite you to visit my website see below. You will find a host of links and resources to encourage you on your spiritual quest. May you find exactly what you need and be guided with grace, peace, and deep joy!

Maria Dancing Heart — ReSource Magazine